biked past the homeless guy down the street and he has a bunch of bike wheels chained to a tree and I want to burn things

can you imagine being horrified by this idea twitter.com/pdmcleod/statu…

@tenderlove info in the dooblydoo

this is actually how I eat toast because butter is work 🤣 twitter.com/EndMy_Existenc…

When asked for comment, Trudeau, planked while wearing a rainbow Dashiki twitter.com/theintercept/s…

on High Sierra (unsigned) apps can programmatically dump & exfil keychain (w/ your plaintext passwords)🍎🙈😭 vid: player.vimeo.com/video/235313957 #smh

I don't think either were informed that they were getting pyro

every time I make a pile of stinky meat I wake up the next day smelling meat ghosts and jonesing for Thanksgiving and turkey cooking smells twitter.com/tek_gluttony/s…

just a normal receipt from my mechanic

i found some wario voice clips, so...

This is remarkable. In unprecedented joint letter, the entire American health care system - 1/6 of the economy - rejects Graham-Cassidy.

🎉surprise🎉
implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selec…

first it was teen vogue, then it was the juggalos, now it's the athletes

what unexpected group will be our next hero?

❤️💛💚💙💜🖤 twitter.com/Seahawks/statu…

🙏 twitter.com/BethSkw/status…

@DrunkenGeeBee ... and tire, and tube, and theft resistant skewers, and...

@DrunkenGeeBee my spare bike is a mountain bike and my main is a commuter, so many of the parts might not work. spare wheels are wider, for instance

I can't decide whether I should sell/give away what's left of my spare bike or buy a new wheel for it

@BethSkw slimy chalk

I thought iOS 11 was supposed to fix this volume overlay nonsense

so far today I've:
* stripped and reseasoned a cast iron pan
* worked out
* fixed a toilet
* shaved my head

I've not:
* had coffee

AMA

for context: forum.biohack.me/index.php?p=/d…

learning that people in the "targeted individual" community attended the @DC_BHV shouldn't surprise and depress me, but it does

tried to sleep in but woke up furious after a dream where someone stole stuff off my bike

I had an expensive nonstick pan last only six months so getting cheap ones every two months is probably still cost effective

my latest nonstick pan has already lost its nonstick qualities so I checked Amazon to see when I bought it...

July...

just taking his pheasant and golf club for a walk @ Mcmenamins Crystal Hotel instagram.com/p/BZXb0KCDm-N/

@rbuels her keys included her car key and fob

turns out a neighbor locked her keys in the storage room and not only was my wheel stolen but also her car and someone else's bike

today I had my top surgery consult! yay! 😍

but also someone stole the front wheel off my spare bike 😩

@_buupy be careful, that didn't go well for barb

this is the future libertarians want

You seem................................................................................................... offended twitter.com/charliekirk11/…

@jhelwig I realized after tweeting I didn't specify but was feeling self conscious about tweet quality so dissolved into the floor instead of fixing

@parrots the third playthrough is where shit goes off the rails

The hard truth about the United States is that the money other countries spend on health and infrastructure, we spend on war. twitter.com/AP/status/9099…

@parrots oh, sweet summer child

@jhelwig I should specify this was SAC season two. it started with a fight scene, middle-end.

man, the music in episode 20 of GitS SAC is really making me want to start a new playthrough of NieR Automata...

When you're totally not an FBI agent.

@jasonhobson I use a bigass leather cuff watch band from amazon, and have previously used chainmail bands from amazon.

Me at 9pm: I should go to bed early
Me at 3am:

I wanna download ios11 but this shit looks like a survival game inventory

@bleything why not both!

@_buupy is that James Hurley

Women will die. Pregnant ppl will die. Disabled ppl will die. The poor will die. Elderly ppl will die. The wealthy will get a sweet tax cut. twitter.com/NPR/status/910…

@fullbright I just wish they collected it along with income taxes so it wasn't an annoying random letter every year

Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. ~Siddhartha Gautama

I.... I got nothin. Too tired for this shit... twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/s…

I'm literally begging y'all to read another book

Seems like every day some new dipshit white boy rises from the ooze thinkin he’s fuckin Neo bc he discovered social Darwinism and eugenics

Food $200
Rent $800
Military $700,000,000,000
Healthcare $0
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this my family is dying twitter.com/ap/status/9099…

screaming @ this

was just wondering why is there no facepalm emoji and it turns out there are several

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️ twitter.com/bcrypt/status/…

another day, another chance to feel resentful as I wipe my elderly cat's butt.

Snapdragons make cute flowers, but when they die, they turn into macabre skulls.

iPhone 5s was released in 2013 and will receive an update to iOS 11.

How many Android phones released in 2013 will get updated to Oreo? 🤔

same, little kitty dude. same. #hobonichi instagram.com/p/BZP1_-YjbAu/

So the idea is Nintendo imbedded Iwata’s game to watch over every unit and thats fuckin me up good rn. That man was loved.

In Japanese culture omamori are bought at shrines for various reasons, if you keep one close to you it will protect you or give luck

Golf is imbedded in the Switch firmware and JP internet is calling it an “omamori” or charm from Iwata (he coded the game himself)

finally, after upgrading to iOS 11, I was able to scan the NFC tag in my hand with my phone 💜
itunes.apple.com/us/app/nfc-act…

Hey kids, iOS 11 came out today and you should definitely set up cop mode and check your location privacy settings. medium.com/@flamsmark/ios…

normal brain: the camera sucks in mario 64 bc it was nintendo's first real 3d game

big brain: the camera sucks bc the cameraman is an enemy

High tech, low life: cyberpunk
Low tech, high life: period drama
High tech, high life: dune
Low tech, low life: spongebob squarepants

"Moved house, dog has never seen stairs before"

This video legit keeps tickling me

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Some of my favorite iOS games ever will be lost. Dungeon Raid, Flappy Bird, 15 Coins, Puzzle Restorer, ASYNC Corp… twitter.com/pgor/status/90…

"Pass this horribly unpopular bill or we'll give you something 75% of voters are demanding" is an interesting hill to choose to die on twitter.com/TheIJR/status/…